My Self-Help Book Dream

The self-help book market is huge. I would love to get in on that gravy-train. No one seems to have any qualifications. If they do it seems to be secondary to a story of personal failure that has been over come through the use of a personal philosophy.

I have had to over come adversity; in the form of going through a very difficult divorce, among other things. So being a failed wife is my ticket to self-help street cred. And I have a personal philosophy. Which did indeed help me through my long dark tea-time of the soul.

My personal philosophy however does not make a good book jacket. It is not hearts and flowers. It is not uplifting. My personal philosophy is "Fuck It!" It is somewhat similar to Nike and just do it. But is the hard arsed big brother of that thought.

I have above my desk a little sign I wrote for days when I feel self-doubt. "Just write a shitty first draft" it reads. This is my kind of inspiration. It is based on a realistic understanding who I am as a person and what I can actually achieve on any given day.

My personal philosophy does not hold that anything will ever be wonderful. Simply that showing up and having a go will produce some result. And lets face it no one like people who are perfect. "Fuck It" is at its core a statement that attempting something is better than not attempting it.

This does not leave room for self doubt. It does not give you time to procrastinate or over think things. You want to write a book? Off you and write that shitty first draft. You want to run a marathon? What is wrong with you? Don't you know your insurance will go up? But you can just go do that if you want to.

Preparation is doing things now when you don't know if they will be what you need in the future. But a lot of skills are transferable. So make the next move, you will have an opportunity to make another move real soon.

The other problem, aside from having profanity on a book jacket, is that this philosophy does not really need a 200 page explanation. I could fill a book with quirky anecdotes of the people I've helped and how "Fuck It" has changed their life. There would be Bill; the accounting exec who always dreamed of being a clown in the circus so took juggling lessons and now travels the world as a performance artist and tax guru. Cathy; the stay at home mum who dreamed her cookies would make the world a better place and has now funded a Ugandan diabetes hospital from the proceeds of her cottage industry bake sales. And of course my own story of struggle as I left my husband to take on my dream of being a world class dominatrix.

Actually, Fuck It. I'm going to write that shitty first draft.

Are we getting sillier?

Sometimes I find myself looking up cat videos on you tube. Usually this is to feel better, having dealt with some horror or other earlier in the day. And it's fine. Nothing wrong with that. But is my escapism actually an act of embracing stupidity?

I'm passionate about many social justice issues. At the moment equal marriage is front and centre of my thoughts. I do my research, I think about this stuff. I will not adopt a view because it is easy, appealing or popular. I'm happy to be outside the norm, especially for something I believe in.

But some days are too hard. Some issues are too hard. Some people are too hard. And I find myself drawn to the stupidity readily available on the internet. I do it to take a break. To escape. But am I slowly rotting my brain? Is this exposure to the banal not only not helpful but actually harmful to myself or others?

I saw a documentary about Internet pornography addiction. The psychologist said that people rapidly escalate the extremity of what they watch. Where once a pretty naked girl was enough, three moths later all sorts of other things are needed for the same result.

Am I doing the same thing with the progressively sillier things I watch to make the world go away? Or is this a legitimate coping strategy to deal with the knowledge that the internet has unleashed? It is no longer possible, if you are an inquiring sort, to be ignorant of the plight of those around you. And once you know, you are obliged to act. Knowledge is nothing with out action.

Am I derelict in my duty to the world? Or is it just another cat video?