I have two clever, cheeky daughters. (They are also both conventionally beautiful but I object to women and girls being judged on or praised for their looks.) I do not have a son and I think this next might make him grateful for his non- existence.
Having a penis does not make you special. It does not make you more important than anyone else. It does not entitle you to having your opinions valued more than someone else. It does not entitle you to more food or better stuff. Having a penis does not make you inherently more valuable.
It does give you privileges. You have not earn these things; you don't deserve them.
These privileges include:
Being able to walk down the street alone at any time of day without fear. The women in your life - yes all of them- can not do this.
Being able to have an "off"day. If you have a bad day no-one will suggest that it could be your "hormones". Do not do this to women. Women are entitled to have a bad day or be upset about something. Your job is to take that seriously.
Being paid more than a woman doing the same job. You don't do it better- you just have a penis. Donate the extra money to women's charities. I expect you to do this. You owe it to me, a woman who did not have a job for years as she cared for you.
Being physically strong. You will be physically stronger than most women in your life. Use this for good not evil. Never use your size or strength to hurt or intimidate anyone.
Being allowed to sleep around and being respected for that. Sleeping around is a natural part of self exploration. You want to do it and that's fine. The women in your life have the same drives. Let them do it too. Do not judge them. It is none of your business. They are not sluts. They deserve your respect. If you judged a woman for having a one night stand; hold yourself to the same standard. Don't do it. Otherwise shut up.
A side note on the friend zone. If a woman you know and fancy decides to have sex with literally everyone else on the football team but not you; she is not a slut. She does not owe you sex or even an explanation. As has been said before; you don't get a cookie for being a human. She is not "friends zoning" you. Get a grip, she doesn't fancy you and that's fine.
Please know that women are powerful. But for a woman (me) you would not exist. Respect women for the strong, powerful people they are. Most women have a harder time in life than men just because society still thinks that "people" and "men". Make space for difference in your life. Not just between men and women but difference generally. You can have an opinion but so can anyone and yours isn't better or more important just because it's yours.
Do not try to convert people. Everyone gets through life by believing things. They work from a framework that makes sense to them. It doesn't have to make sense to you. They are not required to explain it or justify it to you. You have your own framework. It will keep you safe from having to confront your ego too much. This is a form of self- protection we are all entitled to.
If you disagree with someone on something you feel passionate about then it is time to listen. Once you have heard and understood what they are saying, you are free to reject it completely. But do not start an argument. Do not defend your world view or ego by attacking theirs. They feel just as strongly and no good will come of it. Step back, move away and find your peace. The world needs difference. Leave it alone.
Cook, clean and wash for yourself. Having a penis does not entitle you to avoid house work. An average (not dedicated just average) stay-at-home mother works over 120 hours a week. A part time working-mother over 60 hours a week on home stuff. A full time working-mum works at least 30 hours a week at home. That is an extra full time job. Pull your socks up. Get in and get dirty. Having a penis and a job does not mean you can put your feet up and watch tv. That is your house and your baby and you should do the work.
There is no such thing as male work and female work. Mowing the lawn once a fortnight is not the same as making dinner every night. Do not assume that something more physically demanding is more worthwhile or difficult.
Please know that I love you and want you to be a force for good in the world.
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